Thursday, September 27, 2007

Does it really matter?

I was really very disturbed this morning upon learning that some of us have been disseminating mass e-mails detailing the purported extend of the abuse endured by Arwah Nurin.

Marina Mahathir in her column (Musings, The Star, 26/9/2007) posed the following questions,"If a child is sexually abused and killed, does it really matter how? Is there really a need to report the more abhorrent details of her suffering?

Is there really a need to print photos of the dead child, even if the initial intention was to find out her identity? Don’t little children deserve some respect too?"


Though there were no answers given, I'm sure that all of us knew the answers. And the answer to all the questions(with the exception for the last one) is none other than a resounding "No". Therefore I plead the public to refrain from unrealisingly becoming agents to this unethical mode of utilising the super highway of the internet.

As I commented in my earlier posting, what we should know is the girl was indeed abused but its gory details are really unnecessary. For all you know the gory details might not even be true due to the power of exageration as a result of information being passed from one to the other.

Perhaps we are not aware of what we are doing, as our intention was all along in good faith, but for the sake of what's left to Arwah Nurin's and the family's dignity, please reserve some respect for the dead.

I have also received a video presentation supposedly done as a tribute to Nurin, but her last photo was used again and again with a song being played in the background. What's happening here?

I know those involved meant well, but let us be reminded that there are certainly acceptable limits, beyond which are no longer acceptable.

For the very first time, I had to expunged at least two comments posted in the blog today, both done in the name of upholding dignity. I really hope you understand.

16 comments:

Zaharah Mohammad said...

Dear Sir

I agree with you. I really do not want to know and I dont think it really matter! I find it sick that these emails are circulating. Truly, I was also shocked when I first saw her last picture on the papers and could not belief my eyes. I thought that this photo should have been kept from the Media and should have only been shown to immediate family members. I dont see a need to display that photo even if its for identification, isnt identification done by professionals and immediate family members, how would the public know how to identify Nurin when like me, have never seen her before up till now.
Certainly if I am Nurin's parent I would be deeply sadden by such emails and feel anger and betrayal by the public who continue to circulate such emails. I hope that these emails will stop and all who receive them should delete it immediately. I feel sicken by some users who even left their emails just to get the email forwarded to them.

Red Mummy said...

they wanted to help, but in a wrong way.

i just wish this will end soon. we need to 'bagi' the culprit.

hang on there bang.

red mummy.

::dragonfly & hubby:: said...

Assalamualaikum..

Our deepest condolences goes to you and your family.

We pray that your family and you will be strong in such testing times and will be able to put behind the bad memories whilst only retain the good and happy times shared with her.

Dispite all the pain and agony she had been put up to for the last 27 days of her life, she is smiling now in heaven together with those whom He bless and love.

Jasni AJ said...

Yes, I know, all of us meant well, hence my message was simply to ensure everything remains well.

Thank you all.

©Opah De said...

I received an email containing... I don't think I should say anymore. I read it and deleted it. Okay, fine. I wanted to know but I would not forward such emails to anybody because I respect adik Nurin so much even though I've never met her. Some even dare asking me why I didn't put the picture of her body in my blog. I answered, that picture is tattooed in my brain and that is enough for me to remember what that beast had done to her. I will always remember and I want that beast to be caught.
At the same time, I also want myself and everyone else to remember adik Nurin the way she was, a beautiful, lovely and cheerful little girl.

Mohamad Rizal bin Abd Rahman said...

I'm really worried with the Malaysians misuse of ICT, especially emails- as if they find it satisfying to share things they are not supposed to share, ignoring the fact that such kind of sharing leads to the grief and sorrow of others. I don't understand what is actually running in their mind when they circulate those photos. What I do understand, and I believe that most of them are ignorant of, is that, their actions are definitely ILLEGAL under Malaysian laws. Cited below is just one of them-

Section 211 Communication and Multimedia Act 1998:
(1) No content applications service provider, or other person using a content applications service, shall provide content which is indecent, obscene, false, menacing, or offensive in character with intent to annoy, abuse, threaten or harass any person.
(2) A person who contravenes subsection (1) commits an offence and shall, on conviction, be liable to a fine not exceeding fifty thousand ringgit or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding one year or to both and shall also be liable to a further fine of one thousand ringgit for every day or part of a day during which the offence is continued after conviction.

Rizal
Faculty of Law
University of Otago
New Zealand

rkaru said...

Jasni, you do what you have to do to maintain the blog as the blogmaster. Especially more, as an uncle, you do not need to explain what you have to do to preserve the dignity and memory of your beloved niece.

Zaharah Mohammad, I think the reason why the police released that photo in the first place was so that the public can help identify the then yet to be identified girl. Remember that she was not identified as Nurin at first? And since nobody else came forward to identify, the authorities had to release the photo. An unfortunate turn in the events, but not intentional.

I have yet to receive such emails. If I ever do, it'll certainly go straight to my Trash. I agree with Datuk Paduka Marina. There is no need to go into details as to the nature of the abuse. When we were still searching for Nurin, I had put up a 'Missing Girl' page as the frontpage of my blog, hoping that it'll be a help, even if it was just a speck in the ocean. When the unfortunate news surfaced, I took down the 'Missing Girl' page, and posted a simple 'Al-Fatiha' post on my blog with just 4 words; "Rest in peace, Nurin". There was no need for details. Furthermore, no mere words can adequately detail my feelings at that moment.

You are doing a good job here, Jasni. And it is a very big effort. Take care.

(FYI, we're related, by marriage, though in your family I have only met Jazlan.)

Anonymous said...

aku dengar berita td 3 org suspek ditangkap kt shah alam malam smalam..harap2 betullaa kali ni

Anonymous said...

(Shahray - Brunei Darussalam)
wahai rakyat malaysia semua,

sepatutnya semua rakyat malaysia sedekahkan Al-fatihah kepada arwah Nurin dan mengadakan sembahyang hajat supaya pembunuhnya ditangkap...detail bagaimana pembunuhan itu kejam dilkaukan tak begitu penting sekarang ini...cukuplah hati dan perasaan terluka melihat seorang kanak kanak yang tidak berdosa dibunuh dengan sebgitu kejam...

noname said...

for some people,this issue might be sensitive issue.

and they tend not to read the email and don't want to know about it.

but for me,as a law student, i've been trained to look at the facts of the case as deep as i can.

and i've read the email..at the first instance, i was wondering about the aunthenticity of the email..the sources..

but unfortunately, the sources are unreliable and this is something serious and action should be taken to those who originally spread this information.

sue said...

terima kasih atas peringatan ini en jasni..

MaryKate said...

Dear En Jasni

The papers meant well in publishing the photo of Nurin on front page, the big picture of the body, as at that time, they wanted someone to claim the body. HOWEVER, it neednt be a big-front-page photo, it could have been discreet. The papers SHOULD HAVE put it on the front page the following day Nurin went missing, maybe she could be still alive with this information.

I TOTALLY DISAGREED when they had to explained in detailed how Nurin was sexually abused, all the gory details could have been skipped!! There was no need to tell how Nurin died, only the parents need to know. As we all know, bad news always sells extremely well, and the papers had a field day REPEATING-AGAIN AND AGAIN, how Nurin died, there was totally no respect for Nurin.

I TOTALLY DISAGREED when one Minister said that Nurin's parents will be charge. I wonder if he will ask the police to charge himself for negligence if it was his daughter who died. There was NO COMPASSION on the parents, and they have sufferred enough. A daughter lost for 27 days and enduring 27 days of pain & heartache is bad enough, now we have insensitive people who blame the parents for not being responsible.

As a mother to 3 kids, I had my children "lost" for 5 - 10 minutes in 2 occassions at shopping centres, I was not negligent but curious kids straying away from a parent for a few minutes are common. It DOES NOT make me a negligent parent. I am fully confident that Nurin's parents were responsible and loved Nurin without a single doubt. To pinpoint the finger back to the parents was just diverting responsibilities of the authorities. Police should have acted FASTER and IMMEDIATELY, not when a body turns up in a bag and when it becomes a sensational story, then only everyone acted.

I feel anger and sadness. Angry at those responsible and sad for both parents and Nurin. She is an angel as she was so beautiful. No one deserve this type of treatment. I appeal to everyone that we respect Nurin's parents and leave them alone to continue their lives, without public disturbance. I appeal to all to respect Nurin as at a tender age, she is innocent, an angel and she deserves to be treated with utmost respect, even after death. I appeal to Newspapers to stop publicising on the gory details of how she died, the entire nation and world knows now, there is no need to repeatedly remind us. I appeal to the police to solve the case NOW, and most importantly, what are the future prevention processes that we all can do, parents, neighbours, communities, schools, etc. I appeal to all to remember Nurin when she was alive, beautiful, bubbly and an angel from heaven. I appeal the law be changed, and that the most severe punishment be given to convicted sick people who take other's lives, they cannot play God themselves.

Do not let Nurin's death be a statistic, another Ang May Hong or Nurul, sadly missed but eventually gone and forgotten. Of all cases, Nurin is the most heart wrenching as she was lost for so long before her death. After Nurin, I never let my kids out of my house gate and out of my site when we are out. Whenever I think of Nurin, my heart hurts and am close to tears, all the while thinking her death was so unnecesary. I didnt know her but through the media coverage, I felt for her as if she was my daughter, and I am sure many felt the same. She is as good as our own daughter, she touched our hearts and soul.

May she rest in peace as she is in heaven.

Mary kate

Anonymous said...

Isi e-mail tu berasal dari sebuah blog. The blogger claims that her sister knows Nurin's uncle (not you). He is the one who told this blogger's sister these details and the blogger made an entry in her blog on the details. Someone, took the blog post and e-mailed to some people..... I have read the blog and I was shocked to received the e-mail. The blogger berniat baik la.. tapi...

Anonymous said...

The news media in Malaysia, frankly, are not professional when it comes to publishing their materials. The contents are often crude, sensationalized and frenzied. I don't know how they edit their piece. This is probably asking too much, but I'd like to see the day when our newspapers are on par with the Western newspapers in the aspects of professionalism, style and ethics. Have you noticed lately that the local newspapers are publishing gorier and gorier photos and details? We sorely lack ethics in this country, and it's not just in the media.

Wan said...

Salam.

There are no need to explain further and details of what happened to nurin jazlin.

Bro. jasni, u have to do what is supposed to do.

What is really matter is, justice for her, and i hope, all malaysian hopes that it will remain there.

Lets pray,hope that there are no more nurin jazlin again - especially in our beloved country, Malaysia.

al-fatihah.

zaharah mohammad, SG said...

Dear Akaru

I did not know that it is a normal practice to display pictures of the dead in newspaper for identification, normally from what I know, a full description with details of birthmarks etc is stated but never a display of pictures.

There is still such a thing called Ethics and such a thing called Respect for the dead.

Especially for a Negara Islam.